I am so lucky to live in such a warm caring loving community here. My friends and acquaintances mobilize whenever anyone needs help and when Lucy dislocated her hip yesterday, they sprung into action. Gloria with her loving hands, Lu directing the action, Malea with those healing hands adjusting, manipulating, activating and then some accupuncture to top it all off, Tom with his brute strength carrying her up and down the stairs. Lucy is stiff today but on the move and for that I am profoundly grateful.

I've been feeling pretty good about the holiday season this year, feeling tough, feeling like I'm handling it, like it's nothing, shake it off, just another day, when I realize I'm a bit cranky (ok maybe more than a bit) and a little depressed (ok maybe a little more than a little) and ok, I'm crying and stressed out but it's just situational. Well, yeah, it's freaking Christmas again and I hate it.

Time marches on but I feel like I'm stuck in this crazy purgatory. It's been four years now, four Christmases, time to move on, but here I am waiting for things to get back to "normal" and they're never going to be that kind of normal again, not the way I knew it. No use gnashing teeth and shaking fists at the sky, shrieking, "I want my old life back." Ain't gonna happen. Ever. Never ever.

So, I go through the motions, smiling and nodding and pretending, hoping if I act it long enough, it'll be true.

Maybe next year I'll go on a cruise.

Today I am filled with gratitude for everything in my life.

Especially this.

(not to rub it in or anything . . . )

7-DAY FORECAST

• Today
• Wed 4
• Thu 5
• Fri 6
• Sat 7

• 
  79° | 66°
  Partly Cloudy
  
  
• 
  82° | 68°
  Mostly Sunny
  
  
• 
  81° | 69°
  Sunny
  
  
• 
  81° | 69°
  Partly Cloudy
  
  
• 
  81° | 70°
  Partly Cloudy
  
  

My December affirmation says, "Grateful thoughts attract more delicious experiences to be grateful about. I keep in mind that thankful, appreciative words will bring smiles to everyone I meet. I let this last month of the year be a gift of love and joy that I share with the world. After all, the love, gratitude, and thankfulness I give out will always return to me multiplied."

I can see that once again I've slipped into the poor poor pitiful me way of victim thinking. How tiring. Time to make that conscious effort to elevate myself above this sad cynical negative pattern. I was reading Ann Mortifee last night. She has a beautiful way of reminding us to open our hearts; that rapture, reverence and grace are needed now. So I will be trying to rein in those pesky thoughts about the past and get back in the moment. Never easy for me but at least I can be more conscious of it.

So, other than that . . . here are four things I am loving right here in the NOW.

1.  Baby's Coffee from Key West - love the pecan flavor.
2. Jasmine Thompson singing in the background (Let Her Go).
3. 65 degree breeze blowing through the open window on the back of my neck.
4. Two little girls waiting patiently for their walk.