Another rough day on the road with 30 mph gusts and SNOW coming down slantwise in the hills of Kentucky. Geez Louise. This on top of a lousy night in the Days Inn from Hell. And, thank you Mother and Sue for talking to me when I was falling asleep at the wheel today.

Can we leave this hellhole now, Mummy?

So, I'm nothing if not a glutton for punishment and tonight finds me at another Days Inn in Georgia. It is quite nice in comparison (although if it was worse than the one last night, it would be a crack house.) I trust that the only thing I have to fear tonight are the rednecks.

Tomorrow?  Florida.
Can't wait!

So, I said bye-bye to my daddy today and headed south, driving down the far edge of Hurricane Sandy, feeling the wind blow my little car all over the road and watching the rain blow sideways across my windshield. Drove down thru Ohio which, as far as I'm concerned, is now in a tie with Connecticut for worst place to drive. And, I'm pretty sure it says, "The Roadkill State" on the Ohio license plate.

Drove 'til I couldn't drive anymore and tonight I am in Hellhole, Kentucky in the worst Day's Inn I've ever seen. OMG. You want to wear socks AND shoes. To bed. (I am telling you. I NEED an RV.)  I've used up all of my antibacterial wipes and still don't want to touch the remote or any of the lamps or phone. Ick. Good thing I don't have a blacklight. I'd probably run screaming down the highway.

Anyhoo, the women who checked me in said it is supposed to snow tonight with 30mph winds. I don't care of it snows six feet and is blowing a gale, I am out of here at first light.

I would like to say welcome home to my mum and take care, you in the Sandy zone.  nighty night and (please oh please oh please) don't let the bed bugs bite.

Well, it's being a quiet week here in Lake Woebegone, hanging out with my dad. We take a lot of walks in the woods which all three dogs love and we go to Trader Joe's. We listen to music and we read. And we yell at the radio. And we eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

my daddy

I have been getting a lot of work done on my Etsy shop so that is good. And, what a PIA that is. Here's the link: etsy.com/shop/LizzieAlone I've got a long way to go.

my worktable

 He goes to bed early and I go to my lair. This is it. I am a gypsy, living out of my car.

Such a weird feeling to be here in a place that was once so familiar and is now so foreign. Just walking outside and smelling the autumn air here can take me back, but in a good way. Well, mostly. So odd to re-inhabit my young self thru all of these memories but to be here in my 56-year-old self (and how the heck did that happen?) My younger self seems more real sometimes, compared to the second half of my life so far. Well, until I think about the angst and suffering over ridiculously juvenile issues compared to now, ok never mind. (Ahhh, I think, if I knew then what I know now dot dot dot. )
Before I took her to the airport, my sister and I visited some of our old haunts, drove thru our middle class suburban neighborhood and looked at our old house. It used to seem so huge. It's not. And we reminisced. Kind of a bitter sweet exercise. All of those echoes of pathos; and laughter and the intensity of young love and everlasting friendships (we thought) and heartache and doubt and, well you get the picture.
George Bernard Shaw said, Ah, the pity youth is wasted on the young.  Love that!

M GO BLUE!

I want to give a shout out and a big THANK YOU to the boys in the maize and blue, the U of M Wolverines for pulling off the win against Mich State with mere seconds to go and wow Drew Dileo! What a great Welcome to Michigan for me (because it is all about me, right?) Well, me and Denard Robinson and Brendan Gibbons. Way to go guys!! Yeah!

Well, it has been a long three days but at last I am here. Where is here, you may ask? My parents' home in Michigan. I will be visiting with my Dad for a week or 2 before I head south.

I couldn't have wished for two better driving days and the colors in Maine and across Mass, the Berkshires, New York State were gorgeous! Here too.

After closing up my cottage, I drove to Lexington and had dinner with the fam on the first night. The second day we got to Rochester and stayed in a crappy motel, no names but the initials are L.Q. Gee wonder what that could be. Actually, it was better than some . . . pause . . . that's about the best I can say about it. Sophie and Lucy enjoyed the experience, however. Sacked out all night in their own bed.

 Yesterday was not so much fun. The weather wasn't as good - gusty winds - and worst of all, Ohio. OMG, is there one road in the entire state that isn't under construction with a single lane open, no shoulder and jersey barriers on both sides? Well, is there? I didn't think so. Anyhoo, it was a long day and I made it in time to go to a party with Dad and my Sis. Look how cute she is!  I took her to the airport in Detroit for her flight back to Boston today, and I am here for the duration.

When I crossed into Pennsylvania, I kept an appointment with an RV dealership in North East (yes, that IS the name of the town), finally going to see my dream coach in person. I was secretly hoping to not like it (can't really afford it) but it is beautiful, just beautiful and Oh, I want it. It would be just perfect for the girls and me. No more crap motels.

This is the view of my dad and Sophie and Rose from my position in the rear - nice walking woods surrounding us. We've had two long walks today in celebration of being out of the car.

and speaking of milestones . . .

This little blog of mine - initially written to reassure my mum, and awfully cathartic for me - just went over 25,000 page views! How crazy is that? (Just went back to LizzieAloneCensored and that one has over 9,000 plus the ones my lawyer made me delete - and ironically, my husband is the only one who has those, but that's a story for another day. Or not. Not.)   Anyhoo, go figure! I don't look at the stats too often, so I was surprised.

I see my avatar every day when I log into my blog, of course. Here she is. There used to be a fun male figure next to this female one outside the door to our house. After my husband left and I was out of my mind with grief, I took the male figure and javelined it into the ocean one day. Then, she became my avatar, and I still have her and she is outside my own little cottage now: my very own symbol of independence for LizzieAlone.

I'll tell you what: when I am gone, if this blog still exists in some form and you can read the drafts that I never published? oooh mama, fire will come out of your eyes and your head will explode. I don't even dare look back at them. But ohhh the relief of getting the thoughts out of my head and onto my blog. "Healing" sounds trite but it is so true and I'm grateful for the outlet.

So, thanks for the validation. I'm not ready to stop writing here any time soon. Bye for now from LizzieAlone.

Gee, I think I have everything I need. . .I've come a long way, baby!

My little car turned over 100,000 miles today! Before my husband left, I had never driven from Jefferson to Portland by myself, never driven from Key Largo to Miami by myself. Imagine. It was all about fear - I lived in a state of fear. Now, I've driven from Maine to Florida and back 3 times and I'm getting ready to drive a whole new route this year. I am proud of myself. That is not to say I don't miss being a passenger. It is to say that it doesn't matter because that's not an option anymore. So, I choose to love to drive. I choose to live in a state of love now.

 Woke up to a balmy 60 degrees and went outside to the beauty of this day. You can see how lovely it is but you can only imagine the quiet. A few leaves drifting into the water, the creek burbling on the other side of the cottage. Even the girls seemed in awe. Just sat on the porch and listened.

I'm loving being able to use my fall quit these days. I spent part of today taping up my windows as it is getting difficult to keep the house warm enough and I heard we might have some wet snow tonight!!! Oooooo, I hope so. Monday is supposed to be back into the 70's.

 We had a nice long walk in the woods this afternoon, requiring jacket and mittens and I'm working my way through the firewood much too quickly. Time to head south soon . . .

So now, it's closing in on dinner time and this is what I have to put up with for a good hour until I give in. It is shameless begging and pleading to be fed because we are starving and pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease feed us now or we will continue to bump your elbow two feet up into the air from underneath every time you even try to click once on your laptop.
Well, OK! Uncle!

SOLIDARITY!

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer is this weekend in Damariscotta and so far, almost $14,000 has been raised with two days to go. There are hundreds of us who have died pink streaks in our hair and it is awesome to go around town and see these pink streaks in the businesses, restaurants and on the street - everywhere! The salons in town are working overtime.

I got to work the other morning just in time to see the Pumpkin Drop which happens in the field next door. There is something immensely satisfying about seeing a giant pumpkin falling 160 feet onto an unsuspecting car. Gotta love small town Maine.

So, yesterday I am heating up some soup for lunch and I look over and there is a large brown mouse with a long black tail scrabbling about on the floor about two feet away from me, right out in the open. I give a little ladylike shriek (yeah right) and jump back and he has no reaction. I practically leap over him to get out of the kitchen and he pays no attention. What to do? I put the dogs outside. And, I call Modern Pest Control. I mean, something is not right with him and I don't want any part of it. He crawls under the kitchen table and I can't see him anymore.
So, Modern Pest Control comes out and finds him and he has expired and they take him away. And, it is my fault. I killed him. Since I didn't want a repeat of last spring when I opened the cottage and found a nest in my underwear drawer, I had them put "rodent stations" around the house this year. So, that mouse was poisoned and it is my fault. And he came in the house to make sure I knew it.

And, no I didn't have them take away the poison traps. But I feel guilty about it.

Kind of ridiculous, isn't it?

Here is little Sophie trotting down our road, much improved.

And here is my little cottage taken from my neighbor's dock. Colors are almost at peak.

First off:  Sophie update. The biopsy showed the mass to be benign. Yay!! And, she is a new dog with more of the antibiotic in her. No limping this morning - in fact jumping!

So yesterday, I went in to town for an hour or so for a look at the pumpkins and lunch at Best Thai - shout out! We love Jib and Job (And, I swear I am not making that up.) We are so lucky to have such a fabulous Thai restaurant in our little town.
Now for some of the pumpkins:

in front of King Eider

The Big Bad Wolf was AMAZING

Not sure what these two were doing there . . .  

 

This little guy was hell on wheels (haha). He had a spinal injury and why anyone in their right mind would bring their dog to an event like this, let alone this little dog, arrrrghghgh makes me mad.

So, here is Lucy posing in front of my cottage. That . . . thing . . . in the background is my new awning. It works great, don't get me wrong. We can stay out of the rain while we dry off, instead of going right into the kitchen and shaking water everywhere. but it is so ugly! Any suggestions would be most welcome. Right now, I'm thinking I'll take it to the canvas place in Key Largo and see if they have any ideas. 

oy vey what a day

Here is how my day went yesterday.
I woke up and noticed Sophie could not bear any weight on her front leg. Called the vet for a 4pm appointment. Then, in to town for my annual physical exam, and more on that later, and off to the Gardens for my last day of driving. My first cart died with 3 couples and a wheelchair on board. The occupant of the wheel chair was also on oxygen. Good thing I carry a walky-talky. I picked up my second cart and on the first steep downhill to the shoreline, the brakes went out. When they finally got a grip, I laid the most amazing patch in the dirt. Luckily I had no passengers but the people waiting at the bottom of the hill looked like, hell no we're not getting in that thing with you. (hahaha-maniacal laugh)

Last view of the gardens for the season thru my windshield

So, I rushed home from the gardens to pick up Sophie, and with Lucy -- aka she who would not be denied -- in tow, we sped down to the Vet. Where we spent an hour-and-a-half. (Lucy stayed in the car and shrieked her dismay at being left. Loudly.) So, while I was convinced this lameness had something to do with Tuesday's surgery - it only makes sense, right? - the vet was not convinced. She drew blood for a lyme test and sure enough, Sophie has Lyme's disease. My little problem child. So, she is prescribed antibiotics and pain meds. And, can I just say I'm so glad I spend all that money on Frontline every month. jeez  Home again and the sun is shining and I arrive to discover Chris has been here and removed my dock and float for the season.  arrrrghghgh

So, I wanted to say a word about my doctors appointment. Ok, maybe a few words and yes, maybe a bit of a rant. I couldn't sleep for thinking about this. So my doctor, who shall remain nameless - we'll just call her Dr. Amy - well, ok that is her name - anyhoo talks to me like I'm a moron. If I bring up any kind of alternative medicine like herbal  supplements for instance, she totally discounts it. Example: so remember when I was diagnosed with COPD and I was on two inhalers and a nasal spray to try to keep it under control? Well, I went to a Doctor of Oriental Medicine (OM) and she put me on an herbal prescription she has adjusted a few times and that I have filled at a chinese pharmacy in New York and I have not needed inhalers or spray in 10 months. But will Dr. Freaking Amy even discuss this? No! Won't even acknowledge the fact that I am not wheezing anymore.  And that is just the beginning. I try to talk to her about the side effects of statins. Nope. Doesn't believe it. Doesn't want to hear it. I realized during the night why I was so upset. Because she treated me like I was invisible. I knew as soon as she left the room, I would not merit a second thought. That is how my husband made me feel. Like I'm worthless and beneath notice. And, I think the reason it bothers me now - this is the third year I have come to her - is that I have finally got me some self esteem and self worth, baby,  and I DON'T HAVE TIME for freaking anybody who tries to demean me. So sod off Dr. Amy (and as always, same goes for him.) 

NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS:

As Ingrid Michaelson sings, I just want to be ok today . . . 

So, I wake up this morning and Sophie is bright eyed and walking on all fours. Sure enough, the antibiotics are already having an effect. Huge weight lifted off my heart. She eats a good breakfast and annoys me at my computer and for once I'm grateful for it. 

I print out the articles I looked up over night to drop off to Dr. Narrow-Minded. Which won't do any good but I'll feel better.

And, after a shower, I'm heading to town for Pumpkinfest.  Woohoo!

LizzieAlone is ok today!