State of mind

I celebrated the solstice last night - ok I know I'm a day late - with a little skinny dip in my absolutely frigid lake and then raced up to the cottage in a cloud of mosquitoes. Quite a visual, right? haha  The weather in Maine is going to crack 80 degrees tomorrow, so the water should warm up fairly quickly now and I'm looking forward to getting out in my kayak. Here are five things I'm loving on this Sunday morning before I have to go to work:

1.  new socks - yeah!

2.  In Tune by Ten with Sara Willis. In my mind, the sound track of Maine, the way life should be. 

3.  The geese and their babies parading by in the fog

4.  KT Tunstall's new album - don't know the name but it's great!

5.  Cheesy eggs; had them this morning and love them because the name, cheesy eggs, reminds me of my little niece and nephew, Genevieve and Seth.

* * * * * * 

Happy to say I am almost finished detoxing from the antidepressants. The physical side effects have been pretty horrible but are mostly diminished. Emotionally, well I'm struggling a bit, but as the brain fog lifts I find I can remember the past without that clenched spasm of grief. The echoes are still there but I can remember all I've lost with sadness, accept the tragedy as my own and live with it. As you can see, my failed marriage still occupies a corner of my mind but I know that one day it will no longer be a part of my psyche. So, that sounds pretty healthy, right? The unhealthy part appears  to be the crushing hatred I feel toward my former husband that I can't seem to let go of. I guess that will go in time. Or, if he were to drop dead.  That would be good. 

that is all