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My nephew, Will, reminded me of this last Christmas and I thought I would share it with you today.

MR. COPPER'S HISTORY OF CHRISTMAS, from Dr. Who

The Earth continent of Yooropee includes the countries Great France, Great Germany and, separated by the British Channel, Great Britain, also known as Yookay, and they are all at war with the continent of Hamerica. Yookay's capital city is Old London Town, and the country is ruled over by Good King Wenceslas. The people of Earth are a barbarous, warlike race, who worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws. Their celebration of Christmas is a festival of violence, by the end of which the only survivors are those who have been good. Each year, the people of Yookay go to war against the country of Turkey; they then eat the people of Turkey for Christmas Dinner, which makes a change from the usual Earth delicacy - 'beef'. Soon afterwards, the Earth people start boxing.