I am so pleased with where I am, and I eagerly look forward to the future.

That is today's affirmation from Louise Hay.

Anyhoo it was so weird, after all this time (I've been divorced for a year and four months now; alone for three years) . . . but last night I was watching a movie about a man who leaves his wife for the usual reasons (reclaim his youth, sex with other women, blah blah) and I totally lost it. Found myself blubbering like a bebe.

It took me all day to process this.  I was listening to NPR in the car, sort of, and kept hearing "are you better off now than you were four years ago?" (all of the election BS, you know)

Well duh, I thought. Yeah I am. Four years ago, an alcoholic psychopath was calling me ugly names and undermining every move I made and really, making my life miserable while I was loving him to the best of my ability. Ick. I mean really, ick. How did I ever become such a doormat, especially for a man who never did and never will know the real meaning of love? How is it I spent so many years living an illusion? (Well jeez, that one is for another day and I digress.)

So, I'm not sure why I lost my mind again last night but I imagine it's for the usual reason. Missing the life and love I thought I had. Silly me.

I am so pleased with where I am and I eagerly look forward to the future. Words to live by. Although I'm still working on being happy in the present moment. Howz that going, you may ask?

Pretty darn good.