Tuesday, January 31, 2012

for charity

I finally finished my challenge quilt for charity. The guild gave us each two fabrics we had to use to make a baby quilt and a year to do it. I despised my pink fabric but persevered. Good cause afterall. The quilt is due on Saturday so I am just sliding in under the deadline. I didn't like it at all until I hung it up when I was all done and took a look at it. I think it came out kind of cute. Not bad.

I stand in truth, and I live and move in joy.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Yesterday, we went to the annual Florida Voices for Keys Children luncheon. I took my camera with me but I was having so much fun, I forgot to use it so this will have to do - it gives you the general idea.  Huge crush of women, silent auction, live auction, food, fashion, good time had by all. And, for a good cause.

Had a great table - sat with BFFs, Mom, Glo, Ellie, Donna, Judy, Leslie and Carol Ann.

I love others and know they are doing the best they can.

Friday, January 27, 2012

A few of my favorite things

7 things I am loving right now this very minute . . .
Lucy's white whiskers
new shoes!
white roses from the boss
Lucia's fridge art
A new gratitude journal from Mom
My oilcloth stash!
My house (David's pic)

Yay for me! Luckiest girl alive!

I am worth loving because I exist.

Well, I am officially a Red Hat Ripper now, since my last birthday. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Anyhoo, I took a car load of them, including my cute mom, up to Capri for some Italian food yesterday.
You can just see the servers cringe when they see us coming. Separate checks, dontcha know!
I also wanted to share Gloria's latest work in progress. Love it. And, btw, it's open house at the Key Largo Art Gallery tonight. MM 103 next to Num Thai and we should all come out to support our friend. (Not to mention, they have free wine and food-woohoo!l)

This is a wonderful day. I choose to make it so.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I fired my therapist yesterday

I helped her as best I could and now it is time for her to move on. hahaha Seriously though, I told her I would come back on an "as needed" basis. I think the holidays just really got to me and I am feeling much stronger now and able to cope with the thoughts of him that creep in. I'm nursing a healthy anger which apparently is quite normal. Better mad than sad is the way I see it. She said one day I'll realize OMG, I'm over him and I'm better off and . . . I'm happy!  Woohoo. Looking forward to that day.

Rather than fix problems, I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I feel like I have finally swum (swum?) up to the surface after a week of weak - sick with a cold and it laid me out for days.* No worries. I haven't been sick since my diagnosis and it scared me but all is well, and it hasn't moved to my lungs for which I'm profoundly grateful. Actually had the best four nights of sleep I've had in a long time. (that would be the Nyqil-woohoo!)
So. Good to be up and about and among the living and first thing I did was go off the rock for some much needed supplies from Joann's to complete a little commission job for a beach bag. Liked the prototype so much, I made another and here you see the one finished and the other in progress. I am loving the oil cloth and the Florida vintage kitsch of it. Yay!
the left one is waiting for it's zipper
And, tonight Mumsie and Daddy and Sue and Katrina came for a glass of wine and then, the aforementioned first three and moi strolled down to Pilot House for dinner. Check us out. Oh so slap happy. Ask me what I had the waitron say to make us smile! hahaha
Happy, healthy, friends, family, what more could one ask for? Really, life IS good.

*ADDENDUM:  Kleenex Cool Touch. I remember when Puff's Plus came out-hold the phone-best tissues ever. BUT, Kleenex Cool Touch. OMG. They are cool um well to the touch. :/  Awesome!

I am creating lots of room in my life for love.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

So, after 3 weeks in a thumb splint and a course of steroids, which only succeeded in making me hot and sleepless, I had to go back and get the needle today. He put the needle in at the base of the thumb, installed a tube of some sort and shot cortisone into it. And, if that doesn't make your skin crawl, you are a sadist (can think of one who would have enjoyed watching but she shall remain nameless. Sue. Ok, I said it.)  Hurt like hell and they could probably hear me screaming in Cuba. Just kidding, I just whimpered a bit and tried to take deep yoga breaths. If this doesn't work, under the knife I go. oy vey

I love my body. My cells have eternal youth.

Monday, January 16, 2012

So, yesterday morning, I picked up a rental car, drove to the Miami International Airport, got lost without my GPS and ended up in Hialeah (I don't recommend it), dropped off the rental car when I finally got there, took the shuttle to American, and walked to curbside for a flawless handoff from my adorable brother-in-law (trust me, on MY side of the family, not the former husband's. And, are they even still my brother-in-laws if we're divorced? I don't know.)
pic of MIA from the walk-over from the shuttle - cool!
Anyhoo, what you might ask was involved in the handoff? My parents minivan with precious cargo in the form of Princess Rose, all the way from Michigan, that's what. I drove home where she was reacquainted with her cousins, Lu and Sophie, went to the grocery store, drove to my parents condo, hired a kid to help me unload the van up about a million steps, drove home to walk and feed the girls, and went back over to greet M&D when they were dropped off. A full day for all of us, to say the least.
Daddy, mother and Rosie
And here is Sophie with a tummy ache . .  and it's no wonder: read on . . .

I did want to make note of the news about Jon Edwards. Because, dear reader, you know how I feel about that cheating lying slime ball.  Three things: First off, does the man on the street get to postpone his trial and avoid prison because he has an arrhythmia? (uh, the answer to that is a resounding NO.) Second, what heart? That man has no heart. And third, can anybody say, "Karma?" How about "What goes around comes around?"  Serves him right and let's hope all the other lying cheating scum out there who shouldn't be allowed to walk this earth get theirs too.  Just saying . . .

Sharing who I really am with others thrills my heart.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

We had such a fun day yesterday! Gloria merrily sold pictures and prints and I sold a few things myself. The good news is that people seemed to really like my stuff. The bad news is that I spent more than I took in! There were just so many must-haves from all of these talented vendors! A vest here, a silk scarf there, a pair of earrings . . .Note to self: next time DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BOOTH!  Anyhoo, here are a few pics of the day.
Gloria and David in our space before
Here it is after 
Here it is mobbed!
Cute biker chick. 
And, once again I have to say, why do people bring their dogs to these events? It is just wrong! Most of them are nervous or stepped on or hot and thirsty. Wrong wrong wrong! Imagine being a little dog in a sea of legs and noise. Ok, enuf said.

My inner vision is clear and unclouded.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Art Under the Oaks

It's going to be a beautiful day on Saturday. A wonderful day for an art show. Join me and Lizzie under our tent at Art Under the Oaks (San Pedro Church, MM 90.8 Bayside).  It's the 29th annual show but our first time here as artists. I'll have new original paintings on  display as well as prints. There's a free shuttle and parking at the High School. Stroll the San Pedro Church grounds while looking at fine art and original crafts, enjoy the breezes, live music, special food booths, raffles, and creativity abounding.  We'll be at tent spot #83, in a row of artists adjacent to the driveway leading into the Church parking lot. The fun starts at 9 am and we pack up at 4pm (Admission is free). Looking forward to seeing you. There's a preview of one of the new paintings below. And wait until you see Lizzie's new hand-made oilcloth wallets and handbags. The colors and patterns are tropical delicious and the designs are both lovely and useful. She is truly an artist with a needle. See you there!
Love, Gloria

I spend lots of time thinking delightful thoughts. I truly love myself.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Well, Mother Nature took a nutty yesterday and flung my conch shells all over the deck and ripped part of the roof off my porch. Cuh-razy!
But, the calm after the storm was worth it. Here is sunset on my canal.
I'm working on some little clutches these days. Would you pay $25 for one of these?

I allow myself to succeed. I am far more than my past limited thinking.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Goodbye old friend . . .

Well, after weeks of trying to fix my hot tub (and without a clue as to what I was doing) I said goodbye to my hot tub yesterday.  sob

When I feel tired, I rest. When I feel rested, I work on projects that fulfill me.

Monday, January 9, 2012

I spent yesterday volunteering at the Whacky Sports Challenge down at Coconut Cove on an ultra fabu gorgeous sunny day. Some of the teams were The Kidney Stones and The Urinators. haha  The Keys Cuties unsuccessfully defended their title and the Cubacorns came out on top this year. Here I am with my stopwatch timing the kayak race with my no nonsense face on (and hello? I know orange is so not my color.) Every penny raised went to the National Kidney Foundation. Shout out to them!

I view all experiences as opportunities to learn and grow.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Went to the monthly meeting of the fabulous Florida Keys Quilters yesterday and soaked up the creativity in that group. Alison made this raffle quilt for Helping Homeless Cats. Huge problem here in the Keys.
 Here's the group during show and tell.
 This is Mary Ann's quilt for a new graduate. The picture doesn't do it justice. Every single book has a title that is relevant to the girl's life. She has machine embroidered each title in a different font. Wonderful.
Home after to do some sewing for the craft show next week. Building a little inventory of vintage look oilcloth wallets and checkbook covers. Cute, right?

I am healthy, happy, and whole right now.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

I realized tonight that it has been a long time since I lost it. Seriously. I'm not much of a crier anyway (ok, some would say that is not true - actually I can think of one and thank you, honey, for letting me cry when I couldn't help it the last couple of years - but it's been a long time.) Dry eyed over the holidays, etc. Anyhoo, I don't know what happened tonight. I cried for over an hour. wow

I went to my therapist yesterday and she said you know, you are better for your husband leaving you. You would never have discovered the wonderful person you are becoming, the special life you are creating . . . I got home and my friend Sue came over and she said, I just want to tell you that you are really much better off since he left because you have come in to your own, are such a wonderful person, so much more now than before, so independent (and I am paraphrasing here), and I thought really? Because maybe that is true but so what? It doesn't feel like that makes my life better in any way. -- And, note to self: therapist charges $50. Sue = free. (actually, when I pointed that out, she said she would charge me $15. What a pal.)

My mum writes me every day and says things like, Live your life with love, purpose and joy. Even our most profound losses are survivable. We carry on because we have to.Grief has its own rate of decay, and it rarely coincides with when we think it ought to go away.

So, I walked with my friend and mentor, Gloria, today and I told her all of this and she agreed with them. She said I had blossomed in so many ways, had done so many things he would otherwise have done for me. Now, I know I can do anything and do it all for myself. And? And? So what?

After work this morning, I went to the acupuncturist/chinese medicine person and had a good session, very relaxing and affirmative, working on a positive way forward, and when I left she hugged me and said, I am so excited for your rebirth, for your new life. I kind of felt buoyed up, but then,

tonight, I walked with the dogs further than usual so I could look at the ocean. And, I lost it. Couldn't stop crying. I don't get it. What part of my life is better? what? So what I can do for myself more, I can fly, I can drive, I can cook, I can blah blah blah. Yes, it is true, I am no longer afraid of anything. But, when will I feel joy again? I want it back. I want joy.

I. Want. Joy.

Must have been the acupuncture that got the waterworks going . . . . . going to bed now

Oh, and when I walked home tonight and approached the gate and tried to pull myself together, I thought ok, what is the positive here? What actually IS better? What?  Here is what I came up with:  well, I don't have to deal with him anymore.  Now, THAT made me feel better!

adding this: Every hand that touches me is healing and compassionate and I am grateful

Thursday, January 5, 2012

It occurs to me that grieving is like being ill. You think the entire world revolves around you and it doesn't.

Just saying

I am grateful for life's generosity.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Nose to the grindstone this new year, working, volunteering and sewing like mad to get ready for Art Under the Oaks. Gloria got us a booth in which to sell our wares!! So, now I gotta make me some wares.
Anyhoo, never too busy to take these two insane girls for a long walk. (The dogs, not Gloria and me! duh) Here they are murdering a vine.
Here is another one of these little BFF bags. Cute! I love these batiks.
 But, hold the phone!!! What the heck is that on the flamingo's leg?
Check him out! He doesn't look real, does he? Up close he looks the consistency of a brillo pad. He can stay there too because I am not touching him.

I make sure that all my choices support the new pathways I want to take.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Zia's quilt for BEN!

Happy New Year, Happy Every Day! And didn't I have a lovely first day of the year, celebrating with brunch at Our Lady of Perpetual Misosas, with friends. Here is the view from my seat. What could be better?  Janine officiated as always. Love the hat!

 Came home and sewed for a few hours and then Gloria and I went over to the Holiday Inn and had a lovely hour in their pool. It doesn't get much better than this, people!

I treat others the way I wish to be treated.

Sunday, January 1, 2012