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There is a freaking giant palmetto bug (nee ROACH) on my living room ceiling. I watched in horror as he climbed up the wall and settled there. The ceiling is high (too high for my Clorox Clean-up to reach him although you know I tried - over and over again) He is just sitting there. If I walk under him, he will drop into my hair - I KNOW IT, I just do. I have thrown at him:

1. whiffle ball
2. giraffe dog toy
3. skunk dog toy
4. green beach towel
5. pink beach towel
5. 6.7.8. assortment of paperback books

I have knocked over:

1. candle holder
2. 3. two plants
4. water glass (empty)
5. picture frame
6. wooden mermaid

And, I have nicked him several times but he just twitches. arrrrrghghghgh. My living room floor is littered with plants, dirt, towels, etc. and the entire house stinks of bleach (the Clorox Clean-up). The dogs are looking at me like I'm crazy and I'm about ready to go to a motel. Although, he would probably hide somewhere and LAY EGGS - gross! And yes I know I said he is a him and then would lay eggs but I don't care. I just want him OUT OF MY HOUSE.

I will go downstairs and get the mop and fortify with wine and let you know . . .


. . .the problem is, I can't stand to smack him because:

1. they are super fast
2. the sound (OH JEEZ THE SOUND OF IT)

Oh, and btw, I looked on the google and clicked on The Difference Between a Palmetto Big and a Roach and it said, there is no difference between a palmetto bug and a roach.
So helpful that was.

* * *

UPDATE:
Ok, the deed is done. I hit him with the mop, he dropped to the top of the bookshelf and the chase was on. Sure enough, he zipped across the bookshelf and tried to hide under a picture frame with me and my Clorox Clean-up in hot pursuit. That knocked him to the floor and he made a beeline towards the TV cabinet. I nailed him with the CC-U right before he went underneath and kept shooting until his leg (the only part of him I could still see) stopped twitching. ick  I kept an eye on that leg sticking out from behind the cabinet all evening but thankfully, it never moved. I WILL be calling Charter Pest Control today.