I lost another family member this week. My precious Lucy.

Lucy in her beloved Maine woods

She was an amazing dog. She was born in a puppy mill and sold as a Christmas puppy. At a year old she was abandoned in the Everglades, pregnant. A recent x-ray showed she had been shot at some point. When she arrived at the shelter, she had lost half of her body weight. She was always grateful for her rescue and proved it with her daily devotion. When my husband left me, Lucy rescued me. I could not have kept going without her. Since then, she has been my - and Sophie's - closest and constant companion, best friend. I am so thankful for her presence in my life, so grateful that she was with me for 13 years. I cannot believe I will never see her again.

My dad died on Friday morning.  

He was a fabulous guy and it is difficult to imagine that we'll never see him again. I am ever so grateful I got to spend the last few months with him. 

Stebbins, William Cooper

William Cooper Stebbins, University of Michigan professor emeritus of otorhinolaryngology in the Medical School; professor emeritus of psychology in the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts; and retired associate dean of the Rackham Graduate School, died on Friday, April 24, 2015 in Ann Arbor. He was 85.

Dr. Stebbins was born in Watertown, New York on June 6, 1929 to Jean Reginald Stebbins and Kathleen Heile.  He graduated from The Hotchkiss School in 1947 and from Yale University in 1951.  He served in the Medical Service Corps in the United States Army at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington D. C. from 1951 until 1953.  He was married to the former Kathryn Jones in 1953.  He took his Ph.D. degree from Columbia in Experimental Psychology in 1957. He taught at Hamilton College from 1957 until 1961 when he was awarded a National Institutes of Health post-doctoral fellowship in Physiology and Biophysics in the Physiology Department at the University of Washington in Seattle.

In 1963 at the completion of his fellowship he accepted a faculty position at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor jointly in the Department of Psychology and in the Kresge Hearing Research Institute where he remained until his retirement in 1996. His research centered on Bioacoustics, specifically on laboratory studies of animal hearing and communication and he wrote or edited 7 books, 30 chapters, and more than 100 research papers in this area.

As a member of the faculty at Michigan he taught undergraduate and graduate courses in Psychology in addition to working closely with his colleague Professor David Moody and his undergraduate students, graduate students and postdoctoral students in his laboratory.  In addition he taught an interdisciplinary course in Primate Behavior for students in Biology, Anthropology, and Psychology. He served on many faculty committees, was elected a member of the Senate Advisory Committee on University Affairs in 1984 and served as chair from 1986-1987. He also chaired the Tenure Committee, the University Budget Priorities Committee, and received the Distinguished Faculty Governance Award for his participation in faculty governance. In addition, he served as Associate Dean for Faculty Programs in the Rackham Graduate School for three years and was chair of the Graduate Program in the Department of Psychology.

At the national level, Professor Stebbins served as president of the Association for Research in Otolaryngology, was a study section member of NINCDS, and was active in the American Academy of Ophthalmology and Otorhinolaryngology. He also served on the external advisory committees for a number of institutions across the U.S., served on the editorial boards of numerous journals, and has been a reviewer for several funding agencies. He was elected a fellow in four national organizations: The American Association for the Advancement of Science, The Acoustical Society of America, The American Psychological Society, and The American Psychological Association. He was also a member of Sigma Xi, the International Primatological Society, the American Society of Primatologists and served for four years as a member of Study Section, a grant peer review committee, for the National Institute of Neurological Diseases and Blindness.

Professor Stebbins participated in many local organizations and became a board member of three and president of two: The Barton Boat Club devoted to sailboat racing, The Ann Arbor Figure Skating Club where he also served as a figure and dance judge. He was an avid bicycle rider and long-time member of the Ann Arbor Bicycle and Touring Society.   In retirement, he joined the United States Power Squadron and took many courses on marine navigation and piloting.  At their second home on Drummond Island, Michigan, he and his wife Katie spent many summers cruising Lake Huron, Lake Michigan, and the North Channel. He and his dog, Rose, were members of Therapy Dogs International and spent many years visiting nursing homes in Michigan, Florida, and Canada.

He is survived by his wife, Katie; his three daughters, Elisabeth, Leslie, and Rebecca; his son-in-law Tom Blumenthal; his three grandchildren, Anna and Will Blumenthal, and Ryder Mosby, his sister, Kathy; and his beloved dog, Rose.

Memorial gifts can be made to the Michigan Alzheimer’s Disease Center (MADC), 1000 Oakbrook, Suite 100, Ann Arbor, Michigan 48104 or Planned Parenthood. A memorial service will be held at a later date.

So, I wanted to show you my new digs, only a stone's throw from my back door. Yes, I know I just got settled into my new little house but "little" is the key word here and it is just big enough for my mom and dad at night and I needed a little hidey hole and a place for the girls and me to sleep. So my friend, Elaine, rented me her little Airstream. And it is ADORABLE!  Elaine is a quilter so of course, the textiles are super sweet. The inside is painted a pale lime green and it couldn't be cuter, right?

Sophie in front of our home away (just barely) from home.

Facing one way is the sitting area, turn around and you see the beds and beyond, the bathroom. I'm standing in the kitchen.

And, speak of the devils and here they are. Mom and Dad. This is a good picture of my Dad. Usually he has a huge frown on his face from trying to think. This will probably be his last trip to the Fabulous Florida Keys as Alzheimer's continues to rob him of his senses. It is the most despicable disease you can imagine and it is a daily struggle to understand him and, particularly in my mom's case, take care of him. We must do more to fight this horrible illness. It is rare you don't meet someone who has been touched by it in some way.

Sue came over for a swim and brought her friend, Gail, from Cornwall, England. I plan to become best friends with Gail so I can go over and visit her. I've always wanted to go to Cornwall . . . 

And, my hibiscus is looking beautiful these days, one bloom after another. You can see my tomatoes, lettuce and herbs beyond. My mom is helping me in the big garden out front and I'll share some pictures of that next time. My vision is becoming a reality!

Playing catch up

I've taken a little time away from my blog but I don't want you to think it was for any reason associated with the bombshell dropped on me a few weeks ago. Just so you know, I've decided my former husband is not worthy of one more ounce of my energy or thoughts. I am withdrawing my investment in bitterness and hatred so I can invest more fully in the people I love and care about. He may have had a hold on me in the past, but I have chosen to shake him loose and I'm taking back the ability to decide who I am, what I think, how I feel and whom I focus on. That's where my power comes from. I will not let anyone else turn my heart cold or change who I am. And, thank you Dr. Phil for that!

So, I wanted to catch you up on all of my doings as I am sure you've been waiting with bated breath to hear all about life here in the Fabulous Florida Keys. 

Last month, this beautiful princess came to visit me along with her two adorable brothers and her mom and dad. My nephew, Nat's family, and oh how I love them!

Princess Genevieve

Sweet Ben

We had a pizza party in the pool and sorry I don't have any shots of Seth or Sarah. It was a short but sweet visit with good food, good company and lego.

Please, can I come in? I'm not that wet . . . 

Then a couple of weeks ago, we had a water aerobics party for our pal, Chuck, whom we have named "Sultan of Swim". In honor of his 70th, we threw him a little surprise soiree.

 He is such a good guy. We call him our Social Director as he organizes our happy hours. Very important job.

In other news, my mother and daddy have arrived for a couple of months and I will fill you in on them and our little living situation later on.  In the meantime, I want you to see what I've been busy with for these last few weeks and so grateful for the help from my Mom especially and Tom and Lu who came to put the Bird of Paradise in the ground for me.

Lu directs, Tom digs

Here's my before shot . . . 

The bromeliads came from a yard sale and the other plants were raised by my neighbor who sells them out of his yard. Little by little . . .

 Big day at my house when the sod truck arrived. Woohoo!!

and the guys went to work

My mom took the pictures with the dates stamps on. Look how beautiful!! I'll show you some more photos soon.  So as you can see, all is well in Lizzieland.

And now to spread this mountain of mulch . . .

Quilt Therapy

My husband is getting married

Isn’t that the most ridiculous statement? When my nephew’s wife emailed me to tell me that they wanted to come all the way down to the Fabulous Florida Keys to tell me something, the thought just arrived in my heart.    My husband is getting married.

And yes, I know he is not my husband anymore. (I did mean it when I vowed “til death us do part” and obviously he lied.) But nevertheless, it rocked me. 

I’ve worked so hard, so so so very very hard these past years to try to get over him, our marriage, my happy old life. Funny how right now the pain feels just as fresh as when he walked away. 

I know this new wound is temporary and I will get over it but seriously, can the Universe just cut me a freaking break?

This too will pass. O heart, say it over and over,

Out of your deepest sorrow, out of your deepest grief. 

No hurt can last forever – perhaps tomorrow

Will bring relief. 

This too shall pass. It will spend itself – it’s fury

Will die as the wind dies down with the setting sun

Assuaged and calm, you will rest again, forgetting

A thing that is done.

Repeat it again and again, O heart for your comfort

This, too shall pass as surely as passed before

The old forgotten pain, and the other sorrows

That once you bore.

As certain as stars at night, or dawn after darkness

Inherent as the lilt of the blowing grass,

Whatever your despair or your frustration –

This too will pass.
-Grace Noll Crowell